Candy Criticism

As the world’s foremost expert on candy criticism, I offer incisive, bite-sized analysis of sweets sold across Africa.  I don’t sugar coat nothin’….

Red Band – Holland (given to me by a friend in Cape Town)

3/10 Nibbles

Imagine a duet with no harmonies, and where one singer just snatches the mic from the other until the song is over.  This is the candy version of that.  Natural licorice flavor is powerful and savory at the beginning, followed by a potent burst of citrus.  But the flavors never actually mingle on the palate; each flavor just takes separate turns being the star until the candy dissolves.  Disappointing.

“Fudge” – South Africa

7/10 Nibbles

Like biting into a tender piece of sandstone. Quickly dissolves onto the palate into a sweet, gooey mush.  Hints of maple syrup, condensed milk, vanilla, oak and brown sugar.  Probably what heaven tastes like.

“Lunch Bar” – South Africa

6/10 Nibbles

Chunks of nuts, wafer, and caramel are packed into a thin chocolate outfit that leaves nothing to the imagination.  A snacker’s wet dream.  The wafer and nuts surprisingly fresh and crisp.  The chocolate, while seductive, is disgracefully bland; it’s more style than substance.

“Fizzer” – South Africa

4/10 Nibbles

Strawberry flavored plastic.  Coats the mouth with a strawberry flavoring that is strong, pleasant and true.  Subtle sourness is a welcome surprise on the palate.  Package claims that the candy fizzes in the mouth; I felt no evidence of this.